It’s the lie that stings, not the fuck.

That emotional angst comes with a beautifully complex cuckolding relationship. To process and overcome damaging jealousy and turn it into something highly erotic is truly an emotional feat.

I am feeling I should have talked my wife out of breaking up with her boyfriend. To continue to process and overcome my emotions. It has been a good break from it all, I will admit. I wrote in the past that having a poly wife with a boyfriend, that is one of the problems. No breaks when the emotional rollercoaster feels out of control.

In cuckolding, one minute it can feel great and the next minute it can feel terrifying. More so when there is cuckolding and love.

A cuckold, needs to be able to work through the anxiety and make room for the excitement and thrill of thinking about his wife with another man. I believe the wife needs to help. It is a unique kind of marriage. The wife has to strike a tricky balance. She needs her husband to acknowledge his insecurities and offer reassurances to minimize them. For most cucks, eroticized insecurities are at the heart of the cuckolding, no insecurities, no thrills. Als

It takes a lot of effort. Is it worth all the effort for the thrills, the connections, the amazing orgasms?

There are going to be ups and downs because cuckolding is truly and emotional rollercoaster.

I can understand my wife not wanting to deal with the cuckolding and just have a poly relationship where she enjoys the connections and sex. Cuckolding is my sexual need though like a poly type relationship is hers. How do you blend the two?

I feel I had a right to be mad about my wife’s behavior. As they say, sex is sex, trust is trust. I am perfectly fine with another mans cock going in her pussy. It is arousing; it plays off my cuckold insecurities.

It is the lie that stings, not the fuck.

For poly to work, the other man needs to be okay that he is dating a wife of a cuckold. I think there is a balancing act. You need to treat your husband as the loyal partner that he is. But he also needs that tease, that feeling of jealous fear and angst and excitement that happens when you make yourself available.

If you hop in bed with another man, you need to tease the cuckold of that. Show him text messages, show him the filthy pics you send your lovers. Show him pics and videos of you in the act.

Tease him about how you are in love with another man.

With us, we never discussed my wife being poly, and I didn’t know she desired to have emotional loving relationships with other men until it happened. Communication is so important in all relationships for them to work. I do feel like this threw me into poly hell and I didn’t know how to get out of it.

We will have to make a list of what works for us and what doesn’t. My wife sometimes feels she can do nothing right. I can understand this as I have a hard time giving up control even though being sexually submissive makes me cum so hard. Letting go fully and letting her lead without trying to guide her how to lead.

It is a little comical in my head as we work to reconnect, work to feel loved and admired by each other again, and I fantasize about being denied her pussy and giving her the kind of pleasure only bigger toys and real cock can give her.

I assumed when she broke up with her boyfriend they would eventually fuck again. Isn’t that how all breakups work? I don’t ever want her to cheat on me.

As I wrote in emotional cuckolding though a real deal cuck like me is into the emotional pain and humiliation of a real emotional affair. The lines kind of get blurry. No matter if it feels like cheating sometimes, it really can’t be because I ask for it and crave it.

2 thoughts on “It’s the lie that stings, not the fuck.

  1. Complex. “My wife sometimes feels she can do nothing right. ” When she is feeling this way I think you need to stop and have a talk. In order for this to work, the primary relationship is between the two of you. I’m sure you know this, but I am just supporting you. Itis a very difficult and complex relationship, but extremely rewarding. The rewards are what keeps it going. Just my two cents worth, of course. And I wish you the best. Sometimes Soozie



  2. Yes complex post!

    A lot of references to how for the wife, it’s a very careful balancing act. And with cuckold insecurities, there are a lot of ups and downs.

    In my experience, it’s even more. Those two things interact. If the cuck is feeling insecure the balancing act looks completely different than at other points, when the cuck is feeling more secure.

    For the wife it’s a balancing act and a moving target.

    And over the past decade I’ve gotten a more complete picture of what the ups and downs look like. And the downs look like, on occasion, the person I love most in the world storming out of the house in the middle of the night saying our marriage is done. And that isn’t worth it. No matter the ups.

    As for people normally fucking exes? Lol that isn’t something I’ve ever done and I’ve fucked a lot of people. But I’m sure some do.

    But I won’t do that here.

    I think I’ve put my ex boyfriend through enough. As someone who wasn’t turned on by the cuck dynamics… he really tried to do his part. He told me he had promised himself he wouldn’t fall in love with me. But then he did. The only fear he ever stated was that one day I’d just up and leave. And I did that.

    I couldn’t show up for him the way that I wanted to in the end… And I know I wasn’t always able to show up for you in the way that you needed when I was with him.

    The more I read about being a “hinge “ I realize I probably I’m just not very good at that. I am a people pleaser. I struggle with drawing boundaries. I desperately want to meet other people’s needs and desires. But as a hinge this isn’t possible. You can’t do this for everyone .

    But for me… maybe the poly dynamic is really about feeling wild, carefree, alive and sexy. So for me… since poly is off the table, I just need to find other ways to feel that.

    Maybe that’s the next step here… figuring out the underlying emotion you’re aiming to get through cuckolding?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s