Emotional Cuckolding

Emotional cuckolding is relationship dynamic that involves a husband allowing their wife to emotionally connect with other people. This can include flirting with others, sharing details about life and experiences, or even falling in love with someone.

The term “cuckold” has traditionally been used to refer to a husband who allows their wife to engage in sexual activities with other people. Emotional cuckolding takes this concept a step further by including emotional connections and physical ones.

When my wife and I started our cuckolding journey, I believed at first it was not emotional. It was not because we started by going to swinger clubs and events where it was just about sex. This environment made it possible for my wife to be sexually intimate with men while not being emotionally connected. One-night stands. It was all about the physical pleasure, but with no emotional connection or commitment.

We still include this type of sex, and it is a lot of fun. In a long term open relationship, it really is not sustainable though, especially if you have kids. I’d love to go to a swinger party or club a couple of times a month. For us in our life right now it just is not possible.

Sex is emotional and intimate. When you are a cuckold, your wife is having a sexual connection with another man. She may not fall in love with him, but it is emotional. After all, she is letting a man penetrate her body.

Thinking while I write this, I have always been an emotional cuckold, I just have not accepted it. I remember an experience when my wife and I met a guy at winery. We were conversing and he and my wife were flirting and lightly touching each-other. When my wife asked him what he was into this man actually said, “I’m into fucking hot women like you.” He didn’t care I was standing right there, and I liked it. My wife loved it.

Later that night my wife and he sat alone drinking wine while kissing and making out while I watched from the wine bar next to staff that served my wife and I earlier and around people who saw us together. They were all strangers, and I was very turned on.

We went to his house that night and him, and my wife fucked passionately. In front of me, but also he took her to his room by himself while I had a glass of wine in his kitchen and listened.

When they were done. I brought my lips to hers and knew as I kissed her she was forever mine, her mouth and body so sweet. We’ve kissed before, made out before, but this kiss was different. It was like we were having our first kiss all over again. She had a physical and emotional experience with him and she and I got off on it as we reconnected.

He became her first long-term bull. Not really a boyfriend, they were definitely more fuck buddies.

Her next long-term bull could have easily been a boyfriend and pushed my comfort boundaries. It was much as a push and a pull as I feel today with her current boyfriend. I don’t know how to describe it or communicate it.

A troubled mind. An emotional, mental state by conflicting thoughts causing feelings of stress, fear, worry, depression, and anxiety. A feeling of it being overwhelming that my wife is having an emotional relationship with someone. It comes and goes in waves. I’ll get this feeling then hours later I’ll be sexually aroused and having sex with my wife in her home office fantasizing about her spending the night with her boyfriend.

That makes me remember another time when we first started. This night was at a swingers’ club where we started in a MFM threesome and this very dominant guy took her from me. Took her to a corner and fucked her hard, passionate and raw. At that moment I thought I had lost her forever. He fucked her like I had not yet ever seen. Her orgasms were loud, intense and pleasurable. Why would she ever want to fuck me again when she could have that? I ran out of the club with tears in my eyes. She was pissed at me and told me I could have joined back in or stopped it, it was my decision. The funny thing is I can’t tell you how many times I have jacked off playing back that experience in my head.

It is unhealthy. Not just for her, but also me. I need to figure it out. I need to accept I like to be emotionally cuckolded. Stop being insecure that I am a cuckold.

There are triggers.

Her texting with her boyfriend first thing in the morning then before she goes to bed. Her talking with him on the phone more than one time a week. Again, it is troubling because it triggers this troubled mind, this overwhelming feeling, but, if she stopped, I would be disappointed.

My emotions are overly frustrating for her and, of course, all the guys she has ever had emotional relationships with. She also feels I am mad at her when really I am feeling, I guess, insecure.

I trust her, but I don’t completely trust the guys. That is an irrational thought because trusting her is all that matters.

I just want to pause it all for a while sometimes. Not be a cuckold, just a normal husband.

That is unfair, though, because it won’t be long until I am encouraging her once again to cuckold me. Wanting her to be a slut and have sexual experiences that are physical, but I will also encourage her to again have emotional connections. Encourage her to dress sexy and flirt with men.

When my wife started to fall in love with her current man, it was a roller coaster of arousal and angst. It did not make me feel uncomfortable, just anxious. It also exited me and still excites me from an emotional and physical perspective, and all things said above have been worth exploring.

We have had honest conversations and understand each other’s boundaries. We both feel very much in love with each other and there are highs where we feel we are more in love than ever. Then I get insecure. I lose sight of our needs.

What I know is I need to get to a place of greater self-acceptance and confidence.

I feel I am showing a lot of insecurities and am having trouble identifying them. Why does her texting or having conversations trigger me negatively? Especially when I know if she stops, there will be disappointment or a feeling of loss?

Where do these insecurities come from?

From all my past girlfriends cheating on me and leaving, maybe. Maybe being conflicted with being bi-sexual, conflicted that I like to dress and feel feminine. Possibly I have an avoidant or anxious attachment style. I have a hard time not comparing myself or competing. I have a hard time giving up or letting go of control. Maybe I want to make sure I am always there to keep my wife safe.

Things that I need.

Being a cuckold is not a simple path to take, and it takes a strong man to embark on this journey. I need mutual respect, communication, trust, honesty, and understanding. I also need emotional support to cope with any feelings of insecurity or jealousy.

I need my emotional needs met. To feel like a cuckold. I enjoy watching my wife with another person, hearing about her experiences and exploring fantasies together. I enjoy BDSM activities that include teasing, and role playing scenarios. Overall we do a good job with this. This was much what our PIV challenge was about.

Regular check-ins. Communication is so key when it comes to cuckolding. We need to check in with each other regularly to make sure everyone feels comfortable and safe.

It is good to acknowledge my feelings to take time and write these posts to help accept my feelings rather than trying to suppress them or ignore them, to help me understand them better.

It is important for my wife and I to have fun! Taking time for us to have fun with each other – pausing.

Emotional cuckolding has been a way to explore the depths of intimacy in relationships. With trust, understanding and love, we have been able to expand our definition of love and enhance our overall connection with each other and others.

It is a roller coaster of positive and negative emotions. So I am learning it is important to stay grounded in reality while on this unique and exciting journey with my wife.

Learning to accept that emotional cuckolding turns me on. Trying to learn how I can overcome my insecurities and better accept myself as a cuckold and my sexuality. It has been a life-time struggle since a very young age. It is said cuckolding sets a woman free. Funny, it also sets the cuckold free too. So I need to enjoy that I now have so much sexual freedom that I never let myself enjoy until I met my wife.