My wife and I have gone back and forth with denial play for quite some time. Erotic sexual denial where we don’t do PIV (penis in vagina sex), not my penis anyway. It has sort of been a natural progression from when we opened our relationship to her being a hotwife over eleven years ago and us playing and enjoying many of the kinks of cuckolding since.
When she found out I like to wear women’s clothes, she was immediately encouraging. Shortly after, we replaced my drawer of men’s underwear with a variety of women’s thong panties. This was an easy way for me to enjoy my feminine side daily and continue to keep it in secret.
As my feminization progressed and I removed all my body hair, started body care rituals keeping my skin soft, the way we made love also shifted. The physical sensations I started to experience became much more intense. We started to make love like two girls. A lot of passionate kissing, caressing, massage, oral sex and mutual maturation with a Hitachi vibe. Soft and loving.
The focus shifted more on emotional connection and physical pleasure than on penetration. I felt a greater level of trust and acceptance from my wife, allowing for an even deeper level of intimacy and exploration into my sexuality. We kind of lose ourself in love making and there is less emphasis on performance or traditional gender roles and more allowing eachother to explore our own desires.
In contrast, when I make love to her like a man and focus on a traditional heterosexual approach. The primary focus is on penetration which can be less emotionally intimate but includes a lot of physical pleasure. The thing with being a cuckold is I have this feeling of inadequacy when penetrating a woman with my penis. Something I have felt most of my life. I know there are ways for me to better pleasure her than with my dick inside her.
That said, I am not saying I don’t enjoy the feeling of my dick in my wife’s pussy. I love it. What I feel is more of a connection, my body being inside her. As for pleasure, I have learned throughout my life many other ways to pleasure a woman.
Then there is a switch. A type of role play we do where I will use a dildo on her and in recent years we have enjoyed me using a penis sleeve. A penis sleeve essentially functions like a hollow, strap-on dildo. It is a penis enhancer. We have three different ones in three diffrent sizes. A smaller one, making me average length and girth. A medium girthy one and a very large one, making me have the cock of a porn star.
When I use one of these toys to fuck her, it adds an element of physical passion and intensity. There is a unique power exchange where I am now the dominant lover, which adds a layer of excitement to our lovemaking. She orgasms hard, intensely. You can feel how her body loves to be dominated and penetrated by the girth and length. She likes for me to fuck her hard and deep, to slap her ass.
She is completely sexually satisfied after I fuck her like this. I also love how it stretches her out and makes her pussy feel so loose after. Like another man has fucked her. I can usually have an amazing orgasm rubbing my dick on her pussy right after with no need to penetrate her.
When I do put myself inside, we both know. My dick can’t compare to the toys or the real men that she fucks with above average size cocks. It’s a humiliating, pleasurable mind fuck. There is another quick power shift where I was roleplaying the dominant, but now again the submissive that can’t fuck her this way with my dick.
My wife has also learned that it arouses me when she teases me about how my dick shouldn’t be allowed to fuck her pussy. Only toys and the men she fucks should enjoy that pleasure.
The past week my wife was out of town on business when I wrote about my new chastity cage. She texted me and teased me about how small it is. About how it is named the mini chastity cage and that is perfect for my tiny dick.
When she returned, I was turned on. I licked her pussy and finger fucked her. When I went to put myself in, she giggled and told me no. I licked her and fingered her to another orgasm, then tried again and she told me that my little dick doesn’t belong inside her anymore.
Her on top we rubbed on each other (outercourse), she told me this is the only way I should be pleasured by her. I was super turned on and actually wanted to fuck her, so I put myself inside her again. She slapped me and told me not to do it again.
I always fantasized about her telling me while I was in her, it would be the last time. This has actually been a huge fantasy for quite some time. I can’t really explain why? This didn’t happen. She had multiple orgasms with our outercourse and I had an amazing orgasm too.
As we laid, she told me she loves me but thinks her pussy should only be for men, not a girl like me who likes to get fucked by men.
I can’t explain how much this aroused me the days after but at the same time the timing was bad. I was feeling a lot of angst.
Cuckold angst is an emotional state experienced by cuckolds – people who are in relationships where their partner has sex with other people. The feelings associated with this experience can range from jealousy and insecurity to humiliation, shame, and even excitement.
What I was feeling was insecurity in our relationship because she had not been updating me about her and her boyfriend. She told me there was nothing exciting or sexy to update me about but she doesn’t understand that even the little day-to-day chatter and flirting is exciting to me and her sharing it with me helps me not have these feelings of relationship insecurity. I’ve also been not trusting that she is being honest with me.
Often, these feelings of cuckold angst stem from a sense of loss or exclusion when one’s partner is with someone else. Cuckolds may feel like they are not good enough or that they are being replaced, which can cause feelings of insecurity and anxiety. You can imagine if you are the one who shares the person you love more than the world, it’s easy to let these negative thoughts take control.
Then on top of those feelings, I now was feeling excitement about my wife denying me her pussy. Also fear. As I mentioned above, I know being inside her is not the most pleasurable way my wife and I can have sex. It is pleasurable but not high on the pleasure scale. Maybe a magnitude 1-2 on an orgasm scale of 6 magnitude six being the highest.
The fear is losing that feeling of connection to her I get being inside her. I also fear for a loss of intimacy, but I kind of sorted that out writing this journal post. Feeling when we have sex like two girls, there is a deeper level of intimacy and emotional connection.
It is just different.
I communicated to my wife why I was feeling angst. She knew I was, although when she thinks I have angst, she automatically thinks I am mad at her. It probably comes off that way because I am dealing with negative emotions about our relationship.
Emotions that go from I never want her to see this guy again, to fantasizing about her leaving for a night to go see him, then encouraging her. There is a lot of push and pull. I don’t want her to see him but I also want her to. A cuckold mentality is strange.
There are reasons I know I fantasize about erotic sexual denial.
- I just find it very horny being married to the most beautiful, sexy woman on earth and her pussy only being available for other men to have sex with.
- The power exchange. Even this week I was locked in chastity. My wife was horny. She teased me in my cage. We then took it off so I could fuck her with a penis extender. We had amazing sex, both being sexually satisfied. I love serving her and her having the sexual power.
- Sexual satisfaction.
- Teasing. My wife is not a sadist, but she enjoys teasing me about my small penis and I love the teasing. I also love that she is a size queen and married to a man with a tiny dick. Love and marriage are more than cock size.
- Chastity. I have enjoyed bondage since the first time I was tied up and restrained, then used sexually. Chastity is a form of binding and restraining a partner for erotic stimulation. It keeps me engaged in my cuckolding the entire time I have it on.
So the other night in bed we were playing a game of push and pull. She was clearly pushing my dick out of her every time I tried to penetrate her. Continuing the game she started since her return from her trip. I asked her why she wants to deny me?
The reasons:
- She know is turns me on and hit turns her on too.
- Me being in chastity is an enormous turn on for her. She can’t explain it but absolutely loves my dick locked up.
- Like me she finds it very arousing thinking about her pussy only being available for big cock including toys and other men.
- She enjoys making love to me like a girl more than when I penetrate her. It is like that was how we are made to make love with eachother. I agree, but it is not a comfortable thing to admit.
We talked about it and agreed we will try it for a month starting once she begins this months menstrual cycle in a few days. In the meantime she has been teasing me to enjoy her pussy while I can because she is looking forward to me not being inside her .
So arousing.
We are also sorting out a chastity schedule. I have some ideas but of course she may have different ideas. So we will discuss.
After the 30 days, she will let me penetrate her, then we will decide then if we continue this thirty-day cycle. Another thing she has teased me about is that after the thirty days I am only allowed to penetrate her after she has had sex with another man since she does like the naughty feeling of having sex with multiple men in one day.
We will see how this erotic sexual adventure goes. Although I have a few more days’ access to PIV I chose to lock my cock this morning. We had morning sex yesterday, and I got a feeling we are both eager to start this and that was the last time I’d feel the pleasure of penetrating a pussy for a while. It has me throbbing and leaking cum inside my cage and panties.
Life Of Josie Pink 