How to talk to your husband about cuckolding?

It was a nerve-wracking experience. I was nervous and scared. I was not sure how my wife would react. Would she be open to cuckolding me in real life, or would she tell me she just wanted to keep it a fantasy?

Her reaction when I gave her the opportunity to make our cuckold fantasy a reality was positive. She was excited. Scared too and so many unknowns that come with making a fantasy a reality.

It was like we were on the ledge and both just needed to jump together to feel this new thrill that for us, was so enjoyable we dove into it. That was over 12 years ago.

It wasn’t just one conversation. I had fantasized about her fucking other men before we were even married. When we were dating and she was still fucking other men. Looking back, it feels like society almost forced us into monogamy. Then we didn’t know there were other options. We were deeply in love and wanted to get married. I never told her she coudn’t continue to see other men. It was just assumed.

There are so many moving parts to cuckolding. It was not just because I thought I couldn’t sexually satisfy her. I just really think there is something so attractive to women who embrace their sexuality, their femininity. Women who are called sluts. Women who are sex-positive and love to fuck. This was one of the many things that attracted me to my wife. I never thought she was the innocent girl next door, even if she can play the role.

At some point, I thought she needed more sexually. That I wasn’t enough. This was mostly in my head, as I was sexually satisfying her just fine.

I remember the night vividly. I had purchased a toy. A realistic dildo. I thought it was huge. It was probably just six and half to seven inches with some girth. Then I was always insecure about my dick. I knew it was on the smaller side but had no real comparison. I had not seen as many real cocks then as I have today.

She was blindfolded. I massaged her body. I licked her pussy. I slowly fucked her building up her arousal.

Note I had never told her yet about my cuckold fantasies.

Her eyes widened. She loudly moaned in pleasure as I pushed the warm toy inside her. Penetrating her. Her lips parted and smiled as I fucked her with the toy. The sounds were so much more intense than I have ever heard. She was the first person I had ever fucked with a toy. I enjoyed watching how hard she orgasmed on it. How much her body would shake and quiver in pleasure. The multiple orgasms she was having from just being fucked.

When I fucked her, I could make her orgasm, but it would require me to rub her clit at the same time. A trick I learned. Other tricks then were to spend more time licking and fingering her pussy. Getting her off before I started to fuck her.

This was not needed with the toy. I saw what it felt like for her to get fucked. It made me feel a bit inadequate having to use a toy to get her off like this, but I also loved it.

After that night, I didn’t just come out being open and honest. Telling her I fantasize about her fucking other men. Men with cocks around the size of the dildo that could give her this pleasure in real life.

I asked her about it as the toys became a norm in our bedroom. Does it feel better than my cock? “Fuck yes! It feels so much bigger, I can’t explain it, just different.”

She was never mean about it. Opposite, she held back. In my head she had never fucked a cock like these toys.

But she had. All her sexual experiences prior to me. I’d ask her about her past lovers. She could tell I liked her telling me about how good in bed they were. How much bigger their cocks were. How I was the smallest man she’d ever fucked. I’d ask her to imagine the toy was another man, a real man. I would tell her to close her eyes and fantasize about it. She did.

I then had her start reading erotic stories about wife’s who cheated. I found stories of husbands who liked that their wife was fucking other men and they shared it together. It wasn’t cheating. I went to Literotica and did searches like

“Slut Wife”.

“Wife’s who like to fuck other men”.

“Cheating wife’s.”

“Wife’s who love big cock.”

I’d find stories I liked and would share them with my wife. She would read them while I licked her pussy and tell me how hot it is that I fantasize about her being like one of these wives.

Then one day I told her I didn’t want it to be a fantasy anymore. We had open and honest conversations. Over a long weekend, she went off on a trip on her own. That weekend she fucked another man and came home to the most happy, excited husband on earth! That is how it felt, anyway.

We have not looked back. It has come with many challenges, but I would change none of it. The positives have been so much greater.

This is our story.

I had a question on one of my post What is the difference between a cuckold and a bisexual?

I think my husband is bi curious or even maybe bisexual, I know from things he has mentioned in the past that he would be happy for me to have another man because he can no longer satisfy me himself. We love each other and that will never change so I wanted some more info about cuckolding so we can both explore together, I’m pretty sure he will be into this and it does kind of make me feel excited too.

Would appreciate any info you can give and how I can bring this up with my husband without him getting upset or hurt.


My advise to Abigail.

A strong foundation of love. I follow a lot of forums and chat rooms. Some of these have up to 90k followers. I’d say a bulk of these are men who want their wife to cuckold them. 90k that is a lot of people that have this fantasy!

What is most missed in the cuckolding kink and why often it is looked at negatively is that foundation of love.

Abigail says “we love each other and that will never change.” After stating that her husband feels he no longer satisfies her himself. That foundation of love needs to always be there and is essential to any open relationship because it creates a safe and secure environment for you as a couple. Love encourages respect, understanding, and trust. All three are necessary for a cuckold relationship to thrive. Without a strong sense of mutual trust and respect, it can be difficult for a cuckold relationship to function properly. Additionally, love allows each person in the relationship to explore their individual needs while also maintaining a healthy connection with their partner.

My wife has done a great job understanding my insecurities and turning them into strengths in our cuckold marriage. Where a lot of cuckolding comes off as disrespect for the husband it will not work if the husband doesn’t feel loved. The same as for the wife. So you are starting off with a great foundation.

Your husband has also already communicated that he desires you to have another man. It may feel scary to you because he feels he no longer satisfies you. He can satisfy you, it is in just a different way than another man will satisfy you. That excites him and you say you feel excited too, so that is okay. It is an option you two can explore.

So start with a place of openness and trust and create an environment in which both of you are comfortable discussing the topic honestly and openly.

For my wife and I this is in our bedroom. The great thing about men is there is a telltale give away. His arousal. His dick getting hard. So maybe it starts off with you just having a hand on his cock and talking about how he feels that he doesn’t satisfy you and how exciting it is to think about another man helping out. Asking him if that is something that really turns him on? Again, you will feel if it does.

You can also avoid hurting his feelings or upsetting him by taking a teasing tone. Cuckolds like to be teased. This is a great way for you to probe into his likes and dislikes. Also share everything with him. It is something you are doing together and not sharing it with him will hurt his feelings and can break trust.

I’d also recommend avoiding assumptions. I would not start with telling him you think he is bi-carious or bi-sexual. Start out where he has already opened up to you. When I came out to my wife as bi-sexual she told me she always thought that was probably the case and that it turns her on. The same with when she learned I secretly wore her clothing. She waited until I felt comfortable sharing that with her.

Cuckolding provides that space for both of you to explore your kinky sides with that foundation of love so there is no fear of judgement or shame.

After you open the conversation, you can start talking about it in depth inside and outside of the bedroom. Discuss your desires as well as any potential fears or hesitation that come up.

Make sure you respect each other’s views and establish boundaries for what is acceptable and not acceptable within your marriage. These boundaries over time will change. It is important, though, to start slow and check-in with each other’s feelings.

You will find that open and honest communication is key to maintaining that strong foundation of love that you two have.

He wants to be cuckolded. I can say that with confidence because he told you in a vulnerable way. “He would be happy for you to have another man because he no longer sexually satisfies you himself.”

You can use it to help build his and your confidence.

I at times felt the same way. I am more sexually confident today than I have ever been and that is because my wife fucks other men and we have turned these feelings of inadequacy into ways to strengthen both our sex life and our marriage. Other men penetrate her better, their cocks feel better inside her but I satisfy her by encouraging her to experience this and I am the only man that worships her and her pussy after another man has had her. It is playful and fun.

Cuckolding has increased our intimacy. The level of physical and emotional intimacy between my wife and I. We are constantly sharing new sexual experiences that bring us closer as we discover each other’s boundaries more for us lack of boundaries and fantasies.

It opens up a whole new world of sexual exploration. It has allowed my wife and I to learn what turns us on without fear of judgment or shame. This is where you can start talking about his own love for cock, discussing if sucking a cock would turn him on, bringing him out of his own shell. Leading him as the strong woman you are. Woman are stronger sexually and emotionally than men.

Beware of cuckold kinks you see online vs real life. Examples is I love chastity, locking my dick in a cage. In real life though it is not fully practical and is more of something fun we play with, like the dildo. Like your husband I feel I don’t sexually satisfy my wife when I penetrate her. I have fantasies of her not allowing me to penetrate her. It is so arousing to me to fantasize about being married to this woman I love more than anything in the world. That I am so attracted to and her pussy only being available to other men. In reality, we need that connection with each other so it stays in fantasy and something we tease about and enjoy the thought of.

I guess what I am saying is always keep it playful and loving even when you are fucking other men.

Cuckolding can strengthen the bond of your marriage. This is where the challenges are worth it. Working through any possible discomfort or issues that arise can help solidify the bond in a cuckold marriage and make a relationship stronger than ever before. I am blown away by this. When I think I can’t love my wife more, I am challenged with my emotions and thoughts and feel that I love her more and more! She says the same thing to me.

Then there is the confidence boost you will get being desired by other men, getting sexually satisfied by other men. Having sexual and maybe emotional relationships with other men while being in love with your husband. It allows you both to explore your own desires while feeling safe and secure with on another. It makes you feel more desired, you get to shop and dress up for first dates, for nights out with other men. New relationship energy. A marriage of excitement and spice.

There are so many reasons a husband would desire a wife to have other lovers as many reasons a wife would desire having additional lovers to help better sexually satisfy her.

It is something to be excited about. Share that excitement with him and he will share it back with you.

It can work and can be a positive relationship structure with honest communication and always maintaining your foundation of love for each other.

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