Physical and Psychological Arousal

As a cuckold I am no stranger to psychological arousal and find I have greater climaxes with psychological arousal than physical.

That said, We all know that great sex is both physical and mental.

My wife and I have enjoyed the hotwife and cuckold kink for over 12 years. I am referring to it as a kink rather than a fetish because clinically-speaking, a fetish is something that you cannot do without to achieve sexual or sensual arousal. 

Although cuckolding is a huge part of my sexual and sensual arousal experiences, I get aroused by many other things. Just looking at my wife arouses me, thinking about sucking a cock arouses me, sexually teasing arouses me.

I am not a psychologist but interesting my wife is.

Cuckolding is a funny thing because a lot of us cuckolds feel what they call cuckold angst. It is a form of jealousy or insecurity. It is a part of cuckolding some love. I don’t. The thing is though I know it will pass and it always does. Lust wins out. I then get cravings for my wife to get fucked. I feel intense arousal when another man is fucking my wife, and fucking her exceptionally well.

Giving her that amazing physical pleasure. Fucking her differently than I can and giving her intense penetrative orgasms.

There is a story of a psychology professor called The Weight of the Glass.

It goes like this.

Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students.  

As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question.  

Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

She continued. “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses and worries. No matter what happens during the day, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you. If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down. 

As a cuckold you can feel a tug of war with positive and negative emotions. The longer your wife is out the more you can feel those mental stresses. Like I said before, the story lust and arousal always win in the end with the cuckold.

If you read my journal, you know my wife has fallen in love with another man. The stress that caused on me had us almost put the glass down.

I chose not to though. All the fear that comes with your wife falling in love with another man I still felt and feel psychological arousal.

I like that she has a boyfriend and I like that she is in love with him. It arouses me.

I wish I could tell you my feelings about all of this are stable. They are not and require a lot of support, love and reassurance from my wife that our marriage is still strong.

There is a feeling inside me it is actually stronger.

I enjoy to allow myself to feel and to reflect on my emotions and I do feel I am becoming more emotionally stable about this new lifestyle my wife and I have fallen into through exploring cuckolding.

So I understand both physical and psychological arousal very well and it could be said I seek out the extreme ends of psychological arousal and even physical. I enjoy a level of masochism.

My wife also gets off on psychological arousal as the hotwife. Having great orgasms have many psychological effect.

So I was thinking about my wife and her boyfriend the other day while I was alone. How he loves her, she loves him. I love her and she loves me. That is something that is hard for me to wrap my head around but I can see the absolute joy in it.

He is visiting us for a few days. Thankfully, he lives a traveling distance away. I say thankfully selfishly about my own mental wellbeing in this relationship.

So last night my wife and I are having sex.

We had a great warm-up session her reading a story called Love and Cuckolding about a wife that falls in love with another man with her husband’s support, cuckolding and arousal.

I licked her pussy as I often do while she drank wine and read. After her first orgasm to the story I used a Bronco Vixskin X dildo on her. It is fairly large, not huge. 7 inches and thick.

She enjoyed it very much! With my licking and the arousal from the story, I can not count the number of times she orgasmed.

When she was finished something amazing happened.

She started to ride me. My little dick slipped out, she rubbed it on her clit for a little and we pushed it back in. It felt really nice! She was not having orgasms like she was while reading. My dick doesn’t physically stimulate her the same way as a toy or another more endowed male. The fact is though because of my also lack of girth the physical pleasure for me also is not as fulfilling as other ways we make love. It is still really good and nice though.

So I started talking. Initiating dirty talk. Her teasing me. Giving me that psychological arousal I so much enjoy and can orgasm from more than the physical arousal.

I communicated my thoughts. I have been feeling very happy for her. Compersion.

Compersion is our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others. It is the sympathetic joy we feel for somebody else, even when their positive experience does not involve or benefit us directly. Thus, compersion can be thought of as the opposite of jealousy and possessiveness.

I’ve been happy with her and my connection and love too. Her being more open and sharing her emotions and her relationship with her boyfriend with me as well as using it to help fulfill both our cuckold, hotwife kink.

I was thinking the other day when I was alone that it must feel amazing for her to have two men that love her and be in love with two men. I thought about when he visits us how great that is going to feel for her.

“Are you excited for your boyfriend to visit?” I asked

“I am.” She said an smiled.

“Excited to fuck him, excited to make love with him?”

This is when she knows I like the teasing.

“Yes, fuck him, look into his eyes like I am doing to you now, feeling that emotional connection, telling him I love him.” She teases honestly.

“And you love him?” I mutter under my breath feeling the conflict and arousal tug at each other in my head.

“Yes, I do.” She smiles

“It must feel amazing I say. You are going to have sex, make love with two men. Separately but on the same day. Two men that love you and two men that love you.”

My words put her over the edge. A buildup of sexual arousal and stimulation. Her heart beating fast, her blood rushing though her body, eyes closed her breath became quicker and heavier and involuntary muscle contractions in her pussy and throughout her body hit her.

My dick size doesn’t matter. I’m giving her this amazing orgasm. Releasing in her brain dopamine, the experience of pleasure and hormone oxytocin, reinforcing her feeling of love and attachment to me.

Her physical and psychological arousal rocking her body causing her to then experience simultaneous and multiple orgasms on top of me. Letting go of her stresses and worries as I tell her I can understand how special and amazing this must be for her.

We make love. She puts me over the edge telling me how much she loves she is able to love two men at the same time.

I am trying to let go of my own stresses and worries. My wife falling in love with another man was never the game plan. I like the emotional cuckolding though. I think I always have. I honestly have stresses and worries most of the time when she fucks another man. Cuckold angst. I like that she has a boyfriend. I like that she loves him.

Lust continues to win. Love continues to win. Being supportive and encouraging of my wife through this takes a great level of trust. Now also a better understanding of how beautiful it can be. Navigating how it works in our everyday life is challenging for me. That is also part of the excitement.

My wife asked me what would be harder people knowing I’m a cuckold, outed as bottom bi-sexual or outed that your wife is polyamorous? An interesting question for another post.

Also another note for this journal entry. I did suck another cock yesterday. It was fun. Nothing amazing but it was thrilling. I do love sucking cock. I love licking pussy too. Lol and my wife’s ass. I’m just slut with an oral fixation. We’ll end it on that :).