My wife has asked that I make a list of punishments and rewards for how I behave in our open relationship.
An example: how would she punish me if I broke her trust and read her text messages?
A challenging task I am honestly having a hard time getting into. Maybe because this is a place I am not submissive? More hard-headed?
I think I should be rewarded through positive reinforcement for being the supportive husband I am.
Not punished because emotions sometimes get the best of me when my wife fucks other men or falls in love with another man.
Although I like BDSM a lot! Most of it I don’t see as punishment. I see it as something pleasurable and, if done, would be a positive reinforcement.
I think I have written about this before. A lot of things that are written about punishment are more because of shame and anxiety – the whole cuckold humiliation. Let me tell you I don’t want to feel shame when I am forced to suck a bull’s dick. I am far over shame.
I like the roleplay but to be honest I’d suck his dick without being forced. Same as the sissy in panties. The husband who gets off on his wife fucking a man with a bigger cock. All the humiliation that cuckolds love.
A punishment would include withholding information from me. Hiding the full truth and manipulating my emotions. Not being open and honest with me. Threatening to be A-Sexual.
Punishment leads me into depression and resentment towards my wife. It puts a weight on my shoulder and brings me worst anxiety.
On the flip side as a cuckold, I am putting a lot of trust into our relationship. There is also an imbalance, for example, while my wife is away this evening with her boyfriend. I ran personal errands during the day for her to give her more time to get ready. I took my son and his friend to and from swimming. I have an extra neighborhood kid here that wants to stay for dinner, which I will cook. Loads of laundry that need to be folded. Kids put to bed. I also have to explain to my children in a loving, safe, supportive and ethical way why mom is not home tonight. Why she is not joining us for our Wednesday family day and show them I am happy and love her.
I will sleep in my bed alone, miss my wife, and be aroused that she is away fucking another man. At the same time trying to control my anxiety. Even without anxiety sleeping while she is away with another man is difficult and tiring.
People may view a cuckold or submissive as weak. That they need to be punished and rewarded. Or just walked over, bullied and treated as lesser.
They are actually very strong.
If you know yourself well enough to embrace your kinky side, that’s proof that you’re a whole, self-actualized person. A person working to embrace the fullness of the human sexual experience.
Being a submissive is a choice. Making a choice for the benefit of your sex life and your emotional life is as powerful a statement as a person can make.
The emotions my wife is experiencing are all positive and directed by pleasure. I may be wrong, there may be negative emotions? More than being away from her husband and kids for a night of naughtiness, fucking, a night out, more fucking, connecting with another person and so on.
These are emotions in the moment. After she may certainly feel emotions like I do, fear of me leaving her, that she didn’t do something right, that I don’t trust her or know how much she loves me.
A cuckold and a submissive have to experience many emotions and try their best to not let any doubts or angst ruin their own sexual experience.
I am in a good place right now. Positive emotions are winning and so is arousal. Even if my writing is angsty my emotions and how I am feeling are far from it. I just can’t write about punishment.
No fault of my wife. I just can’t think about being punished for being who I am and being supportive and here for her to have such amazing sexual experiences. Even right now, as I write she is having an emotional and loving experience with another man. That is unfair.
The funny thing is positive reinforcement for someone that is not submissive or a cuckold, or a wife scared to hurt the person she loves more than the world looks different from what most would think. You may even think of it as punishment?
An example is tonight her pussy is for another man and my dick will only fuck a fleshlight. Not close to the same as having her in bed but is positive reinforcement.
It is positive reinforcement for her to check in and text me “OMG having so much fun.” “Of course I have so much cum in me.” It would be a punishment for her to not check in and just be gone for the night.
It is positive reinforcement for her to share all the details with me when she gets home, both sexual and emotional. I am a cuckold this is what turns me on and helps fulfill my own sexual needs the same as me supporting her night away fulfills her sexual needs.
A reward and positive reinforcement is when the wife sends pictures or videos when the cuckold can’t watch in person.
I love any kind of spanking, even being slapped on the face and spit in my mouth. The latter being an extreme pleasure that shows my wife’s dominance, and it just gets me off. So when she feels the need to show her dominance over me. That I have annoyed her or been bratty this is a good positive reinforcement or what she feels might be a punishment.
Telling me to dress up in fem, having me get body enhancements or locking me in chastity are all fun, positive reinforcements.
Forcing me to suck another man’s cock with her, getting fucked by him, or her pegging me. Maybe telling me to go to the glory hole dressed as a girl. Are they punishment or rewards?
Having me sit in the corner of our room in my chair while a dominant man takes her sexually. Punishment or reward?
How about being told to listen from outside?
Opening flirting in front of me or telling me she wants to fuck another man or she wishes right now she had her boyfriend’s cock in her….. All definitely reward.
Small penis teasing.
Being denied her pussy play.
Having sex like girls. Two wife’s. Instead of man and husband.
Getting gifts from her boyfriend or bull and having them displayed in the house.
Purchasing a birthday cake for her boyfriend and having the baker write heart (name) happy birthday.
There are lists of humiliation ideas cuckolds love. It is because these aren’t punishment, really; they are not humiliating. They are arousing. They are ways a hotwife can include the cuckold and make him feel loved and number one.
There are so many lists from mild to extreme. I’d say I’m the type of guy that enjoys it all as long as there is not piss, shit or blood. LOL although I might get off on my wife pissing on me. I’m not sure. I’d have to be in the right mood.
So for me it is not about punishment. It is doing something adventurous and sexy as hell together and positively reinforcing eachother and being able to do it on such a foundation of love. A foundation of love that allows the two of us to be ourselves and enjoy so much sexually and emotionally. As well as push through the challenges that make our love for eachother stronger.
Here is a good article I found that has some more mild ideas. Overall is has good tips on doing it in a caring, loving and honest way.