It’s that time of the year again.
The holiday season. The next two weeks will be lots of family. Christmas celebrations and ringing in the New Year!
I am not sure if I will have time alone to write the next two weeks so I am doing a recap today.
2023! It is amazing how time goes by so quickly and years seem to blend into each-other.
I can’t believe it was way back in December 2011 we started this journey. We were maintaining an almost impossible schedule. My wife tired, stressed and not feeling her sexy self. It is when I gave her a gift. A weekend trip alone under the sun at a nudest lifestyle resort. Why did I not go with her? I didn’t want her to feel pressured or worry about my feelings at the moment as she took the plunge into being a hotwife.
It was December 17, 2011 when she fucked another man for the first time during our marriage. Us a young couple, still newly married.
Here I am on December 19, 2022, reflecting on all the amazing years and sex my wife has had since that trip. We have had our trials exploring our own open relationship, but the rewards and experiences have been worth it.
Out of all the years, it may have been 2022 that challenged me most as a cuckold, a sissy. To overcome those stereotypes and today feel I am stronger and in a better place than I have ever been sexually and emotionally.
We started 2022 with a rough start. A trip with family friends. My wife dressed up and was ready to meet a man who she would finish the year by telling him she loved him. She was going to leave for a few hours. The night got late and my insecurities of our friends knowing I’m a cuckold took hold of my mind. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. At the last minute, my wife called off her date.
2022 I learned that identities have flaws. That I don’t fit into a single identity. The new year exposed I am very emotional and have insecurities. That this has not allowed my wife or me to fully open our wings and fly. I found that my true identity is the learner. Being the learner, you can be confident and always more forward.
My wife enjoys having a variety of men. Loves hook-ups, nights fucking away at lifestyle clubs, parties and resorts. I learned she also wants to have relationships, connections with other men. Physical and emotional.
As the learner, I took a different approach to cuckolding in 2022 than the previous 11 years. I did not look for information through cuckold hotwife websites and resources. I read books on open marriage, gender identity, how to deal with jealousy. Cuckold forums alone would not get me through this emotional year.
I created affirmations for myself. To accept that I enjoy being feminine, that I enjoy my wife having sex and relationships with other men. I stepped back from being the humiliated cuckold husband.
- My existence is revolutionary.
- The woman inside me is strong and confident.
- I am wholly lovable just the way I am.
- With confidence, I can be whoever I want whenever I want
- Sexually progressive
- Sexual encounters with others make my wife happy, relieves stress, keeps her mindset positive and she brings that all back to me, her primary love of her life.
For Valentine’s day in 2022 we both dressed up in sexy red dresses. Hair, full make-up with pouty glossy lips, smooth soft skin, bodies dressed in fuck me outfits. We took pictures of each-other. She knowing I may post mine to men online and me knowing she would text them to the man she was dying to fuck again.
That night, she fucked me with a strap-on. We agreed, she made me promise, that she could fuck other men again.
In 2022, we learned there is no going back to vanilla for us. This is a lifestyle. It was a year to confront my emotions head on. A year to feel sexy and vulnerable.
In March, I started Feminine Mondays. Mondays are a day I spend as Josie. I dress sexy and feel sexy in all fem. I like to feel feminine and this has become a way for both my wife and me to support and encourage it.
My wife also further embraced her own femininity, adding eyelashes to her monthly beauty routine. Her full eyelashes are sexy and elegant. They also definitely get men’s attention. I think she looks more beautiful than ever. She also continues to embrace wearing outfits that are playful, sexy and emphasize her body. Even enjoying spending many days of 2022 braless.
It also was March when my wife got fucked by another man for the first time in 2022! I could hear her screaming and her sounds of pleasure as they fucked in our marital bed while I sat in my office wearing the chastity cage she made me agree to wear so I would not get angsty.
I always thinking in extremes, thought maybe there is something to wearing a chastity cage as a cuckold. We have played with it as a fun occasional toy since the beginning. It was time for me to be locked 24/7.
My 24/7 chastity in 2022 was short-lived. I could not get over the discomfort of chafing and sores that it causes when wearing for multiple days. I have read these go away with time. You need to stick with it. 2022 showed me chastity is fun, I still wear it time to time. For me though, it is not something I want or currently can do long term.
March, she was back to fucking her boyfriend and spent three days enjoying time with him and his cock. They even fucked at a local park right down the street in our car. I think about them every time I drive by it.
Although I lost the chastity fight. This was the year my wife and I really embraced having sex like two girls. We learned how much we enjoy outercourse with each-other and how more often it is more enjoyable than when we have penetrative sex. Also enjoyable combining both.
Both my wife and I have known that my dick size is an inadequacy, especially for a size queen. Just under 4.5 inches and thin. We joke and my wife calls it a clit. Don’t worry, that turns me on. 2022 was a time to embrace that my little clit yes is an inadequacy but should not be an insecurity. It has been such a positive for my wife and I. That we have explored and found so many ways to feel sexual pleasure together and with other people.
I learned this year that for all these years; I was letting the limiting beliefs our society set affect me emotionally and not allowing me to embrace and love my true sexual self.
May 2022 brought a first for us. My wife’s first overnight stay with a lover. One who we call her boyfriend. I didn’t sleep that night. I was aroused and had some angst. I wrote about it stating I survived. I felt good mentally. I masturbated and fantasized about them making love. It was challenging. I survived it.
It was a great experience for her. It was something though I was not sure I would be okay with again.
That spring was also my birthday. My wife gave me an amazing gift. A weekend away over Halloween where I would step out for the first time in all women’s clothes, including heels.
I was so excited. This was a funny time in life for me because I was separating the two. Cuckolding and Josie. So when I thought about dressing up, I didn’t think about cuckolding. I was in my place sexually, not my wife’s.
That is when I found out her boyfriend was visiting just two weekends after she just spent the night with him and she wanted another overnight hall pass.
I was feeling I didn’t want to be a cuckold anymore. It was an overwhelming, stressful time of the year. I also thought to myself that this is not cuckolding. That this man was in love with my wife and wants her the same way I do. That she is in love with him.
It was short-lived, me not wanting to be a cuckold. The cravings came back. I fantasized about my wife fucking masculine hung alpha men. I can’t run from who I am. She agreed to my rule that she would come home to me and no more overnights.
2022 was about falling in love. Unlike the past year, where my wife had already had a gangbang and fucked many men. In 2022 she had just been fucking this single guy.
The bomb was dropped. I learned she lied to me and was deleting text messages with him. She was not being honest about her feeling for him, their relationship and the communications they exchanged. She didn’t tell me he had told her he loves her. That late June evening we entered a new territory. Out of the shame of dishonesty my wife told me when she was leaving the morning after their overnight, he told her he loves her.
She could see my pain. We had an intense conversation. I was shaking. Felt deceived. She chose her words carefully. “You need me to stop talking to him and seeing him, don’t you?”
There was this burning arousal in me. I told her “Why would you say that? If you reach over and feel my cock, you’ll see I’m hard.” I was rock hard!
It turned me on. We made love like it was our first time. Except this time I grabbed her favorite cock extender. We felt connected. After asking her many times if she told him she loves him, she told me she didn’t. She told me she wanted to love him, but just didn’t know what that means with this dynamic.
Exciting but also a dark time for me mentally. I wrote about an affair. Everything felt uncertain. They had sex again. I took this online journal down at the end of June, then quickly put it back up.
Again I was struggling with emotions.
Going into the summer of 2022, I had another goal outside of cuckolding. I have always admired women in thong swimwear bottoms. I envy they get to wear them and how sexy thong tan lines look. So I decided fuck that! I am going to have a thong tan line myself.
I spent an hour a day reading and sunbathing in a thong on my private balcony. Feeling warm and sexy. Excited as the tan line came more and more visible.
Emotionally, my wife continued to help push our relationship boundaries with my approval. Shortly after our own anniversary, my wife went on a date with him on a Saturday night wearing the brand new lace lingerie I got her for our anniversary. It felt so naughty and fun. Also, it was very close to their one-year anniversary of meeting and fucking the first time.
July, she fucked him a lot. I read about polyamory and wrote about how it was going to send me to therapy. The new relationship energy was hard for me to handle. I did not feel I was special to her anymore, and we had to prioritize spending time with each-other which we did. She made sure to make me feel special again.
2022 was also the first time we introduced our kids to one of our bulls. He is not a bull though, a boyfriend. Our kids are young and we did not introduce him as a boyfriend but as a friend.
We all had fun together and my wife felt extra naughty spending time with him as a family.
2022 my wife got fucked wearing one of my skirts. That slut got fucked wearing my skirt 😂.
Naturally, over time my wife and I have had been having less and less penetrative sex. 2022 we played with being pussy free. Me not penetrating her. This has been more in fantasy since we both succumb to making love like a traditional couple. It has been fun dirty talk and play in our bedroom this year.
It wasn’t until Halloween my wife fucked a different man and added to her body-count. Well, she also gave another man a blowjob the week before Halloween.
I didn’t handle that blowjob very well as she didn’t checkin and tell me she was going to another man’s house.
I think it was more than that, though. I just already was dealing with so much emotionally. It was not the right time for her to date an additional guy. I was already having so many fears with where 2022 was taking us. It was the combination of a strange place and a new person.
I was a mean husband, and we had a horrible fight. I was feeling she just wanted to go at this all alone and not have me part of it anymore.
The one good thing that came out of that is I had to reflect on how unselfish she is and look at all the wonderful things she does for me and our family. She really is the perfect wife!
Halloween 2022 was the BEST Halloween every! We met her boyfriend and had drinks with him. I really enjoy being in his company. He is a good guy and enjoyable to be around. Also enjoyable for my wife to fuck. I stayed at the bar while they enjoyed our room together.
My wife and I then spent the rest of the weekend dressed up, me in full fem sexy girl Halloween costumes. Her matching me looking hot as fuck. Two nights of Halloween parties. Me out in heels, full make-up, breast enhancers, wig and all. My wife got fucked by a huge cock on top of me at an adult club and she and I had amazing sex all weekend. We concluded the weekend having brunch with her boyfriend and her walking him to his car for a private goodby.
I was feeling good about their relationship and fantasizing about them spending the night together again. So for her birthday this fall I gave her a free pass for an overnight.
November 2022 was time to change the cuckold story. The cuckold fetish is caused by pain around the concept of inadequacy. My wife often says “I know that is the story in your head but that is not the true story.”
There are core beliefs we tell ourselves. “I’m sexually inadequate, so my wife should cuckold me.” It almost guaranteed this to create anxiety.
I have started to rewrite the story in my head in 2022.
My wife loves me so much that she trusts our relationship to expand and be enriched by experiencing even more sexual relationships with others.
My relationship is so solid and trusting that we can experience other relationships freely. My wife is so satisfied with me and our relationship that having other partners will not threaten the bond we enjoy.
There is an abundance of love in the world, and there is plenty for everyone. Loving more than one person is a choice that can exponentially expand my potential for giving and receiving love.
I’ve been bargaining for so many years. Setting boundaries and rules.
2022 is a time to accept. To embrace this. To work with it openly. It has value and has been a blessing, and I am glad it is part of my life.
So my wife got early Christmas presents. She cashed in her overnight hall pass and spent the night again with her boyfriend. I expected if she spent another night with him, she would tell him she loves him. That she has fallen in love.
2022 we bring an emotional year to an end by her saying “I love you,” to another man.
We don’t know what it means. What is different? That is okay. We don’t know where their relationship will continue to go. We know we love eachother very much and are happily married. I feel like the weight of emotions in 2022 has been lifted.
I am excited she feels love for another man and I feel compersion. I am excited to be part of it wherever it takes us and for however long it last. I didn’t survive her night with him. I embraced it. It is also extremely arousing to me that she told him she loves him and feels love for him. She is learning quickly. It is a huge turn-on and trigger.
It makes me happy we overcame this challenge.
We are ready for 2023!
What did we miss in 2022?
My wife didn’t have a gangbang. Maybe in 2023. I know she is ready for more cock this coming year.
I didn’t get any cock!! I’m definitely getting cock in 2023! I don’t think I was in the right place for this either in 2022. Damn though that bathhouse in 2021 was fucking hot! I want some cock.
Sex vacation. Halloween was a kind of sex vacation, but we are due for a weekend at a lifestyle resort or more active adult sex clubs.
She didn’t get to fuck that guy she gave a BJ too. Damn… next time.
Overall, I am happy with 2022 sexually as well as personally. I feel I am in a good place. I’ve learned so much about myself and my wife. I can’t think of a better way for it to be concluding and going into 2023.
Well, maybe we sneak away from family and my wife gets fucked on New Year’s eve by some hung guy. A cuckold can always fantasize, right?