I was thinking the other day about the stages of acceptance. Relating to cuckolding. Stages of acceptance typically come down to 4 depending on the model that you look at.
- Denial: This can’t be true. I can’t be turned on about my wife fucking other men. Is this really me? The wife also might think – This can’t be true, he must want to sleep with other women otherwise why would he want me to fuck other men? This can’t really be an option, me having sexual freedom.
- Recognition: This fantasy really turns me on. I want it to be a reality. We have tried it and I love it. Yes it causes me some angst but the benefits and pleasure are worth it. I’m a cuckold, a hotwife, non-monogamous.
- Bargaining: This is where you might be trying to figure out how to make it work. Setting boundaries and rules. Making it slowly part of your marriage and how it can work for both of you.
- Acceptance. I’m going to embrace this. I’m going to work with it openly. I don’t only accept it I see that it has value. This is a blessing and I am glad this is part of my life.
I didn’t go through any denial. I was pretty quick to recognize it as a fantasy that I wanted as a reality. It has caused some negative emotions including fear, anxiety even some anger and shame. Being different from social norms and the fear of my wife leaving me for a “better man”. Trying not to be inadequate.
My wife didn’t go through denial but also had questions and fears of my intent. She also had a fear of hurting me.
We both recognized this fantasy turned us on as well as doing it in real life. That it brings us both sexual pleasures we did not have prior to our hotwife relationship. We also had to learn that it was okay to recognize my sexual inadequacy being well below average in the dick department. I remember us using a website called The Visualiser – The Cock Comparison site. We both laughed and teased about how I compared in length, width and to our surprise volume. For example 61% less in volume compared to the smaller average slightly over 5 inch cock. Then comparing it to cock sizes that she loves 7 inches and 8 inches. I’m roughly 41% shorter, looks like a pencil and 85% smaller in volume!
My wife also recognized learning her laughing about it turned me on and it makes me orgasm quickly when she uses it during sex talk. That her being honest about my size is a positive for both of us.
So there is a lot of recognition that happens as you explore a hotwife relationship.
The 3rd Bargaining I have learned I have been stuck in for 11 years! You can go to his house but I want pictures. You can fuck him but can you be home early so we have time to reconnect. He can be your boyfriend but it is hard for me if you sleep over at his house. On and on and on.
Now I do believe you can have acceptance and still include bargaining so it is a fulfilling relationship for everyone.
This last year I have really tried to fully accept it and embrace it. Not think about why I am sexually the way I am but how to make it work and how to have it be part of our lifestyle. That this is a blessing and I am so lucky to have a hotwife. I don’t think I could sexually be fully fulfilled without this. As my wife said. She can drop it in a second for our relationship but it would cause her to be more A Sexual. Now that brings me fear!
So if you are a cuckold like me and have a true cuckold nature and heart but have not yet come to terms with who you are. Have not fully accepted it. A man who has worn the mask of trying to be “normal” all of their life, trying to live up to the expectations of society while always having the inner turmoil and fear of revealing what you are, how you feel, and wish to be. Here is a list of steps to acceptance. You know me. I like mantras and affirmations.
1. I am ready to accept the fact that I cannot provide the full level of sexual pleasure and satisfaction that my wife is both capable of receiving and deserves.
I’ve been a sexual disappointment to women practically all of my life. It has caused me to be shy, nervous, and intimidated by beautiful women. I started to notice that the little penis between my legs pales in comparison to the size of other men in locker rooms, in porn, and even the past lovers of the women I’ve loved. Women have always struggled to orgasm with me penetrating them. Many have chosen to only let me pleasure them with my mouth and hands. I must look at myself in the mirror and finally admit these things to myself.
2. I will acknowledge that my wife has an inner slut that is sexually insatiable, and that her inner slut deserves to be fucked by the cocks that she desires, and by the men who have the necessary skills to use those cocks.
My wife harbors elaborate and depraved sexual fantasies, fantasies of sucking cock, swallowing cum, being double-penetrated and spit-roasted, and fantasies of incessantly being fucked by an enormous cock while climaxing and screaming uncontrollably. She wants more than anything to fulfill the desires of her inner slut and let it control her actions.
3. I will absolve to not only recognize the inner slut of my wife, but to revere it, praise it, encourage it, and facilitate its sexual pleasure by other men and other cocks.
I accept that this inner slut that my wife possesses is a treasure, that it deserves to be “fed” with amazing sex, and I will take it upon myself to ensure this inner slut receives the fulfillment that it desires. I will resolve to have a sense of wonder and amazement regarding her sexual ability to receive pleasure.
4. I will perform an inventory of my sexual inadequacies, examples of those inadequacies in my past sexual experiences, and accept them as the reason that I can never possibly fulfill the sexual needs of a woman’s inner slut.
The size of my penis is possibly laughable. I can not fill a woman up full of cock and fuck her like a slut deserves to be fucked. I can not sexually dominate her with my dick. We can enjoy amazing love and sex but not fulfill the needs for her to feel that big thick cock that makes her heart race at first glance. Ability to give her that stretched out feeling that makes her feel sore the next day. That “god I was fucked good last night” feeling.
5. I will profess to my wife who I love, and others in general, that I am sexually inadequate and desire to be a cuckold, and that my desire originates from my adoration of a woman’s inner slut and her unrealized sexual prowess.
Realizing and accepting I am a cuckold is only the first phase. I must confess my desire to be cuckolded to my wife. Convince her that it is for the purpose of her own sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Build her confidence. Tell her that she is the porn star in my mind and object of my masturbatory fantasies.
6. I will surrender my own desires to sexually satisfy a woman to the abilities of other men, more masculine men, more dominant men, and/or men with much larger cocks than my own.
I must develop a deep reverence and fascination of the alpha male and his superior sexual prowess. I must not only revere large cocks and their copious ejaculations of semen, I must bring myself around to accepting that only they can sexually satisfy a woman to the full extent she is capable of experiencing, and that this is what the inner sluts of all women desire most.
7. I will readily submit sexually to these far superior men and their cocks at any time I’m required by the slut whom I adore as a demonstration of my sexual submissiveness to them both.
A cuckold is sexually submissive at his core. While a slut craves the pleasure of a large and capable cock, she revels in seeing you reinforce your desire to have her experience it. She may wish to humiliate you, or have you fellate it to full erection to facilitate her penetration. She may want you to lick it and/or her clean after it has deposited its ejaculate inside of her. I should not only readily agree to do these things to enhance her pleasure of the experience – I should relish it.
8. I will continuously remind myself of my sexual inadequacies, that I can never give the woman whose inner slut I adore the pleasure that she deserves and is capable of receiving.
Each and every day I will remind myself of the sexual inadequacies I possess and why my wife deserves to have sexual pleasure with another man, a larger cock, a more sexually skilled and masculine man. I will not be depressed or jealous, however. This will give me a sense of peace and my own satisfaction that my wife deserves so much more sexually than what I can provide alone.
9. I will continuously fantasize about my wife whom I love, driven and controlled by her inner slut, sucking cock, being fucked, and being given extreme sexual pleasure by another man, a larger cock, and masculine sexual prowess I can never possibly possess.
The thoughts that bring me to ejaculate and waste your seed into a tissue to be discarded are of her in action with another man, fellating, fucking, climaxing, swallowing, and/or being used as his cum receptacle. In my fantasies she is experiencing sexual nirvana, her little pussy impossibly stretched and distended both deep and wide by a large cock, and her lover highly skilled. My mouth salivates at the mental imagery of her oral and vaginal creampies.
10. Having accepted that I am a cuckold and having been cuckolded by the inner slut of the woman I love and adore, I will never deny to our families, our friends, and the world that I am happily a cuckold, and that the sexual pleasure of the woman whom I love is my highest priority. I will evangelize this lifestyle to other men who share my same sexual inadequacies, and to women who suffer from not being sexually satisfied to the full extent of their abilities.
The practice of the cuckold lifestyle has come a long way, but there is still a great deal of work to be done for our society to be more accepting of this lifestyle, to accept that all women possess an inner slut that yearns to be released, and that there should be no guilt or shame in pursuing a lifestyle where women receive the sexual pleasure that they deserve. I will be confident in my status as a cuckold! Show society through my writing and actions that cuckolds are just “normal” men and could be anyone. I will do my part in making it more acceptable just as I have accepted my own sexual deficiencies and inadequacies. How doing so has made me more sexually confident and sexually free and fulfilled myself.