Over the last year I have learned a lot about myself as well as my wife with love and cuckolding.
As I laid on top of her on Monday night. I needed my mind to be fucked to have the orgasm I was chasing. I whispered in her ear
“Do you want to love him?”
“I think so.” She breathed
“Do you love him?” I grunted back. Knowing if she said yes, I’d explode in an amazing orgasm. I felt like I was playing with fire, but I wanted to hear it.
“I think I might.” She breathed hard again.
“You think you might. What is your heart telling you? Is it telling you, you love him or not?” I asked.
“It’s telling me I love him.” She whispers.
“So you love him?” I grunt.
“Yes, I love him.” She shakes in pleasure.
A loud groan escapes as my dick explodes in an amazing orgasm the one I was chasing.
I am not upset she is in love with another man. We tested our relationship the past week. Really, the past year since she first met him. We came out of it strong. Stronger than before.
I am happy for her. The question is, what does that look like?
It is a different type of love. I am her life partner. With me she has her kids, our home, our careers. Our life. We are happily married. She is the love of my life and I am hers. I guess time will tell what other love looks like. Maybe it is another thing I overthink and it just means they have a great connection and she simply just loves being with him. Loves having him in her life.
A few nights earlier she told me she just wants to be accepted for who she is. A woman that needs to fuck other men. It is a need she has always had. Never fully satisfied with just being with one man.
I accept her for who she is. She has been with so many men since we have partnered, since we have married. I guess it was always just sex to me. I didn’t fully understand her needs. She accepts me for who I am. I will always accept her for her.
I need cuckolding as much as she needs other men.
What I have learned is:
- I need to do better showing her I accept her for who she is. More so trust, even with this need, I am hers completely as she is mine completely.
- I am emotionally a pain in the ass. I need a lot of attention, a need to feel special and thought about. I have fears and insecurities. I will continue to work to get over. I need to first show her my love before letting these fears and insecurities be communicated.
- We introduced her boyfriend to our kids. Did a family activity together. Her, him and I went out as a threesome couple with her getting love and attention openly from both of us. It felt naughty, not humiliating. I almost felt like anyone witnessing would be jealous of her. Really, it doesn’t matter what others think. She felt amazing and loved. It was fun. I could also see firsthand the positive support structure within the family an additional person can add.
- It is challenging for me to give up 1 on 1 time with her so she can have that with another man. Not that it is something I don’t want for her. I just find it emotionally challenging. Much more than being integrated. I’m sure this gets easier with time. Also, just acknowledging it.
- I’m not sure if it works long term if the guy is not into threesomes or me watching? My wife and I really enjoy them, but possibly there is a simple solution for that. Prioritizing also finding other guys we can enjoy together. Possibly at some point her boyfriend will realize this is something he is missing out on?
- She needs to rub my face in cuckolding. It is my need. I need her to sit on my face after fucking or making love with another man. I need her to send me a teasing text. To lock me in chastity. To discuss why she needs other cock and additional love. I am submissive, and for me, this is how it works for me. It is how I can accept both her and myself. I need her to be the dominant one sexually in our relationship.
- Chastity. Yes, chastity. It is a significant change when I am wearing it vs not emotionally and sexually. It brings out the better person in me.
- Her loving another man is possible. It is arousing to me. I enjoy hearing her say she loves him. It makes me happy for her yet is still brings stinging emotions.
- I enjoy being a girl more than a man. I don’t like my male ego. When I am dressed up, I love it. Feminine. I love making love to her like a girl. To other men, like a girl. I love that she accepts this. I enjoy feeling feminine around her boyfriend. She has encouraged me to be slutty with other men, too. I should take her up on this offer more. I don’t want to love anyone else, but I have enjoyed the casual sex I have had with others.
- This is something we both are sexually. Love and cuckolding. It is not something we will ever be able to stop. We can pause from time to time. She needs other men as much as I need cuckolding. We are perfect together. We have been blessed to find each other. Soul mates. She is the most special part of my life. We both would be stupid to ever leave one or the other. Noone can replace what we have and we would only try to replicate. I need to remind myself this always. That is the trust. How could she ever have a life partner that wasn’t her husband and wife? She is my perfect life partner in every way.