Cuckolding typically progresses through four stages, with each stage having its own upsides and downsides. Once you pass one stage, it is not over. You just graduate to the next stage while still exploring the previous stages.
Stage 1 – Fantasy
This stage is where one of you has the fantasy, but you haven’t yet communicated this to your partner. In my marriage, this started with me fantasizing about my wife fucking other men and introducing her to the fantasy.
Men ask how do I get my wife to cuckold me? I can only answer this through my experience, but one thing for sure is you first have to share the fantasy with her. Then the only way to get what you want is to have an adult conversation about it and to ask for it if it.
I love that my wife is very sexual and I fantasize about her often with other men and cuckolding me. Even today. This is the reason I named my online blog cuckold cravings.
She also fantasizes about fucking other men and having a variety of sexual partners.
I introduced her to my fantasy, mainly in two ways.
I love erotic stories. Basically porn in the written form. Stories of wives who fuck other men have turned me on since the first one I read. Stories of wives cheating or wives fucking other men with their husbands’ consent have always worked to get me off.
Sharing these stories with her, I noticed they also turned her on just as much. Then I introduced sex toys into our relationship. I purchased life like dildos and fucked her with them. I would ask her if they felt good. She would scream yes. I discovered she would orgasm more intensely on them than with me penetrating her. I learned she liked bigger cock than mine and asked if she would want to fuck real big cock. She would scream yes.
Stage 2 – Discovery
In this stage you’ve had The Conversation and your partner has agreed, at least in principle, to look deeper into cuckolding you. Role-playing, being cuckolded, is a big part of this discovery.
At this stage we pretended she was fucking other men. She would use their name during our sexual play. We would both get off. Under the Loving Wives section on the website Literotica, I found erotic stories. I would copy the text into Microsoft word and then do a search and replace, first the wife’s name then the husband. I replaced them with our names, then we read the stories together. This was now becoming a fantasy that we wanted to make real. We also found a website called https://thevisualiser.net/. Here, we compared my penis with others and this discovery made us have to admit to each other that I have a small penis. She also did a lot of research about why a man would fantasize about his wife fucking other men. She thought maybe it was some kind of sick, twisted test, but discovered this is a common fantasy.
She then flirted with other men and shared past sexual experiences with me and discovered how much of a turn on it was for me hearing about past sexual experiences and her telling me about the men she flirted with. We discovered this may be a relationship structure that could work well for our marriage.
Stage 3 – Exploration
At this point you’re lucky – your partner has agreed to play and see how it works out.
Agreeing to try something does not mean accepting it as a permanent part of your lifestyle. I would say though obviously there is no turning back. Once your wife fucks another man outside of your marriage.
If it is not fun for one or both of you of course you can stop for whatever reason. Of course this is true for the next stage too. Cuckolding is consensual for all parties.
My wife and I are still in the exploration stage but honestly, there is not much we have not done sexually inside and outside of our marriage.
There have been trials in our exploration. For me, mostly dealing with my emotions. She has also had to deal with exceptional guys and those not so outstanding guys that come with dating. Also, balancing my emotions with her own and the men she plays with.
Overall, for me it has been the most positive sexual experience possible, as we have both explored our sexualities, cuckolding, swinging and an open relationship. I have learned I need to let go of my male ego and she has learned she needs to lead.
Stage 4 – Lifestyle
This is the last stage and the one so many men fantasise about. You’re a cuckold, and your wife is loving it and showing absolutely no inclination towards stopping. She may have a boyfriend or multiple different men on call for the sex she needs that you can not give her. You both have accepted that need. You also both have accepted that she is also fulfilling your needs as a submissive man.
You also might introduce other kinks into your cuckolding fetish. Like chastity play, feminization, pegging, and pussy denial.
You can read more about these kinks in a past article I wrote The Dream Lifestyle Of A Cuckold
Her being sexually free is enhancing each other’s sex life and each other’s sexuality. For you the male it takes the pressure off. You don’t need to be an alpha man in the bedroom and can enjoy being a submissive. Your wife can enjoy being the sexual goddess she is. She is free to be slutty and has your encouragement, your love, and you to come home too.
She is the more dominant sexual partner in the relationship. Even if submissive to the other men she is with.
It also can shift more into a wife led cuckold polyamorous lifestyle.
This lifestyle is a powerful boding tool for both husband and wife.
In the traditional relationship, you have one man and one woman. Typically the man being in charge of the family and the decision, or the woman having an equal say in the relationship. I was raised to believe this was the only relationship structure.
But my wife and I just don’t fit into that male dominant, monogamous mold. We want more, and need more, to be truly happy and satisfied in our lives.
This cuckold arrangements has given us the freedom to live life more the way we see fit. Still with the challenges of outside pressures of monogamy.
Most women have a natural dominance, and when nurtured and explored in a cuckold marriage, leads to intense satisfaction. Where she leads, her husband will follow, and this is extremely empowering. It allows these women to be in charge of their own destinies and to use their innate feminine gifts to fully develop and shine.
I find being the submissive male to my wife to be extremely satisfying. I truly crave the comfort of submission, but because of pressures from society, have found it hard to live my true sexuality as a submissive male. My cuckolding allows me to engage in submission and the many psychological and physical pleasures that it brings. I revere and wish to please my wife, more intensely I believe, than others.
Through our exploration, I have appreciated the hands on training giving her exactly what she wants and needs. Helping fulfill my own submissive need. We are still both learning through exploration. There are challenges and obstacles. We are learning it is mostly my male ego engrained so deeply by culture. Noone taught us how to be ourselves sexually. We are learning probably like most as we go.
As for the polyamorous aspect of this type of relationship. My wife can have her sexual needs met by taking on other lovers. More dominant lovers, more well endowed, more variety and attention of more than one male.
Many women in traditional marriages wish for more attention in the bedroom, but because of the strict nature of monogamous marriages, never get it. This leads to dissatisfaction in the relationship that can drive a wedge through the entire marriage, even possibly leading to divorce. It’s just a fact of life.
But for lifestyle cuckold relationships, she can get the sexual attention she needs that her husband alone cannot provide, while remaining emotionally attached and bonded to her husband. The husbands here also recognize this need for more than they can provide, and in the interest of fully satisfying her, they support and encourage her going outside of the home for the attention she seeks. The man understands that this will lead to her enduring happiness. He also recognizes that this strengthens their own personal relationship, as she can focus on him as her husband without the nagging, lingering desires for more sexual attention that ruin so many traditional marriages.
I believe our cuckold marriage is a beautiful relationship that allows both of us to fully explore our own personal dominant and submissive natures. It also allows my wife and I to fully entertain our sexual desires in a way that brings her and me closer together. We both get what we desire and are able to satisfy our deepest and most primal natures.