“I’m doing that thing I do when I’m afraid. I’m floating above my life watching it and studying it, rather than living it.” ~ Braving The Wilderness;
Something I have been doing most of my life when it comes to sex and sexuality. The reason I write this blog ‘Crave Cuckold Cravings’ to study and work through my sexual feelings. Sexual desires and turn ons that seem to be on the fringe of society acceptance.
My wife lives it.
We were in bed last night after a long session of dirty talk and rubbing our bodies, no sexual penetration. Multiple orgasms. I laughed and asked “I mean is this all okay to do?”
She laughed, she is my anchor.
“Of course it is”. If you would just be Josie, the sexy girl inside you, you would be 100% okay with all of this, you love me to be a slut and you’re a slut too.”
It’s been a great few weeks. A lot of communicating about sex, our desires, our love.
I have read 4 books in the last month. Braving The Wilderness, Building Open Relationships, Room For Two and The Jealousy Workbook.
Outside of cuckolding they all have helped give me a better understanding of myself and my wife’s desires including being able to connect beyond sexually and have relationships with other men.
My wife has always proven to be insatiable. Something about this new guy and her, being more than purely sexual, I admit it makes me a little nervous. Ultimately my excitement wins out. The good thing is the jealousy is going away and I am better learning how to deal with angst in a healthy way.
I get cuckold cravings. There is no shame in being a cuckold. I have to look at it as a man that braves the wilderness and gets very turned on by it. I just need to live it. It is part of who I am.
I love erotic humiliation, teasing. This is really what separates cuckolding from the rest of it.
As my wife and I fucked a few nights ago. She started talking dirty to me. She can feel, I like it. It brings a surge through my body. Typically I will cum very fast.
Out of her mouth she asks if I like that she has a boyfriend who fucks her better?
I know it is just a word, that it doesn’t really mean anything, but I find it so exciting and such a turn-on to think about my wife having a boyfriend.
It makes me nervous too. She has done a great job reminding me how much she loves me and it only works for her because I am here. I love that.
Besides the nervousness I feel excitement. I have through reading gotten a better understanding and am learning to deal with my jealousy my angst. I have worked through the jealousy I was feeling about them discussing sorts of things that couples talk about. Me wondering if my wife was letting herself develop feeling.
My fear was I didn’t want it to end with her leaving me. It would feel like I was losing everything.
My wife ensured me she would end it if it was too painful to me, without hesitation. She is not willing to put our marriage at risk.
I like her having a boyfriend. It doesn’t make me feel less loved.
So we are visiting some friends out of town next weekend in the same town he lives. So me being a cuckold I booked a hotel for the first night so she can see him, be with him, and fuck him when we visit. I’ll leave for a few hours with the kids. Then we will spend the next night at our friend’s house.
All pretty naughty and at the same time really fucking hot. I know my wife and her boyfriend are excited to finally see eachother again.
It gets a bit more naughty.
As you grow and have sex with the same person night after night for over 12 years, you learn about each other. You learn she is insatiable and needs more cock, a size queen too. I have an amazing sex life. She learns I am a cuckold and her being insatiable and wanting a variety and bigger cock turns me on. Together we have learned how to give each other the most intense orgasms. Those toe curling full body orgasms. We have learned the unique abilities we each have to turn each other on and fulfill each other sexually.
Typically these most intense orgasms don’t come from her and I having penetrative sex. She says having me inside her feels like a nice massage. I feel like I have to try too hard to be a man with a big cock fucking her to an orgasm. It does work. It brings us pleasure. I am not incompetent when it comes to penetrative sex. Certainly this is where I have felt anxiety and there is competition. I’d say I’m adequate, average at best and I know for a fact a lot other men are much better with far less effort. I have seen it with my own eyes. I am simply average, below in the dick department. As all the other areas of my sex skills have improved this has always remained the same. The only way I have improved it is by using tools such as a cock extender. I’d say overall it requires a lot of energy without a toy enhancement to just get mediocre results.
The best orgasms come from when we rub bodies, what we call our clits together and make love like girls. They come when I fuck her with my fingers, my hand and yes sometimes my fist. From using toys on each other. Making sweet love to her. These are my sexual abilities that show and give my love to her and pleasure her sexually. On the other side her being fucked by other men gives us both intense orgasms, men that fit what she likes for penetrative sex. More endowed men that are happy to give her those body shacking penetrative orgasms. It doesn’t make them better lovers to her than me, that is what I had to truly learn. It just makes them different.
She recently also during a night of dirty sex talk mentioned putting me in chastity for a whole month, causing her to be cock crazed, eagerly searching out men to fulfill her and fuck her, having me only use toys on her.
I bet I’d cum in chastity many times.
She was not being serious. A past bull who we group text with is always encouraging her to lock me up and has mentioned locktober where men are in chastity for the full month. She was playing off that and seeing if it aroused me.
She knows it turns me on.
Not chastity but I have thought to myself many times during sex we should not prioritize me penatrating her in our bedroom. It is just not my unique ability that makes me sexually special. I shared this with her and we had a open conversation. That is when she told me I feel like a nice massage when I’m inside her.
I would like to try and wear chastity for longer periods of time. It makes me feel submissive, it is a very erotic feeling all day while I am in it. It is exciting and slutty.
“Can we really do that?” I asked her.
“What? she said”
“Be a married couple and not have penetrative sex”. Of course we can, we will still have it now and then, I love your little massages, but this right here feels so fucking good! I also love toys and it will make me crazy to go get real cock from men”.
I had a pretty intense orgasm to this conversation.
Speaking of submissive
I got her a new strap on harness for her birthday.
She looks so sexy, hot and beautiful in it. I can’t pinpoint my feelings. She just looks hot and powerful. When she has it on I want her to fuck me, make me her submissive slut. I love the power exchange.
More on that later.