Our warm bodies were rubbing together. Her breast against mine. Our tongues were dancing together in a deep passionate kiss. Two lovers. I reached under her to massage her ass. She started grinding her cunt against my thigh, her knee pushing up into mine. I started humping her leg, my hands clawing at her back. She gasped and so did I. Her arms wrapped around me, mine around her. She moaned into my ear. I buried my face into her neck. Straddling each other our pussies rubbed together. Her clit was so hard; I could feel it rubbing up against mine.
We humped each other. My body was building with heat. I moaned, going faster and harder. She moaned loudly. “Feel that orgasm build girl,” she said. The pitch of my moans went higher feeling like a sexy slut. I could feel the bubbling climax. It built and built, then my body exploded. I felt fire all over. I was trembling and moaning, my clit was gushing. Wave after wave hit me. Tingles throughout my body, toes curled, a full body experience. She was moaning too, gyrating against me, having her own second orgasm.
Sometimes these feel like the best orgasms I ever have. Having sex with my wife as two females. I get caught up into it, it feels feminine and lovely. I often think to myself, “she should never let me penetrate her”. This thought comes from cuckold denial.
I was laying in bed with her after this amazing morning of girly sex. I thought to myself how great it felt, sensitive, soft, passionate and loving. It is just different.
I like penetrating my wife too. Fucking her with my cock, feeling her insides, connecting us together. When I penetrate her it is very enjoyable for both of us. Differently.
The same as when I use toys on her, or like last night spending the majority of the evening using my hands bringing her to multiple orgasms.
It is also different when she has sex with other men. A different experience the way they fuck her, their length, their girth. The different types of connection they have with her.
It is all enjoyable, it all feels amazing, it all adds pleasure and joy to our life as a whole. Ultimately it is the constant variety that keeps it interesting. Variety of positions. Variety of sexual styles. Variety of partners.
The fact is I never wanted my wife to be monogamous. I never wanted to restrict that variety. Even when we dated I had fantasies of her with other men. I’ve enjoyed the sex my wife has had with other men in many ways. Witnessing it, hearing about it, fantasizing about it. I have also enjoyed seeing the connections. I love to watch my wife flirt, it gives my body tingles when I see her kiss another man.
I remember two different times. One at a winery where she was with another man in front of me and all who were around, those observing would have seen them as the couple, me as the complicit husband. Another time I sat across the table at a restaurant, my wife being extremely affectionate to the guy we both play with, who tends to play predominantly with her. I also love to facilitate her connections, I love buying my wife sexy clothes, knowing she will get comments and be flirted with – perhaps leading to another connection for her.
Myself I have always preferred variety in a different way than my wife. I love the variety of sexual encounters with my wife and I have, and the variety of sex we have had together with other partners. I identify as monogamous because I typically only want one partner for myself. Not because I want my wife only to be with me.
But I have felt uncomfortable at points when I have encouraged my wife to be with others despite my monogamy. I have felt jealousy, insecurity and fear about my wife’s loyalty. But previously, as I was deeply embedded in cuckold culture, I would write off these feelings simply as cuckold angst. Cuckold humiliation. Part of the kink. Part of the process that requires no deep introspection.
It really is not until now, that I have moved towards more fully accepting myself, that I can identify that I need to work on these feelings of jealousy or insecurity in a healthy way. If I want to encourage variety in my relationship, it isn’t enough to simply see feelings of insecurity from the point of view of being a cuckold. It requires deeper exploration.
I need to help build a relationship that respects not only myself and my wife, but also the partners she connects with. I need to let go of fears of being interchangeable and understand, like the varied sex we have, these relationships scratch a different itch for her. They are fundamentally different from the relationship my wife and I share. They are different but still positive.
Although I have had a hard time for the past decade when my wife has had emotional connections with other men – it is something I want to move towards accepting and supporting. I know this added layer of variety makes her happy, and her happiness in turn makes me happy. I can also understand that asking her to only engage in sexual relationships without even having any emotional connection is a big ask.
When I am feeling jealous, I think my wife and I need to do a better job identifying it as me being insecure. Telling someone they are jealous or self-identifying as being jealous can feel attacking and increase conflict. Talking to someone about their insecurities is more comforting, and promotes a much more curious, caring and understanding response.
I’m feeling a little guilty right now, as I am having my own self reflection. Guilty of how I have dragged tomorrow’s rain cloud over today’s sunshine. More so though, I feel bad for the other guy that my wife was developing a connection with. I have not met him and don’t know him. I would like to meet him. From what my wife has told me about him though he is a good guy. She enjoys his friendship, he was enjoying hers. He is AMAZING in bed. Has a huge thick cock and is very dominant. Different sexually from me. This difference is a huge turn on for me because it helps sexually fulfill my wife, gives her variety, and gives her maximal sexual gratification.
He also told my wife he was looking at how to best be a sexual partner in a hotwife relationship. He has enjoyed receiving videos and pictures I have taken and I think that is hot! He has said he would be open to returning the favor, knowing I enjoy being connected in their sexual relationship and not feeling left out. Although I do not set this as an expectation.
He was already demonstrating a lot of the characteristics that I would hope my wife would find in a bull or other partner. But rather than my wife and I exploring the insecurities I was having more deeply, rather than discussing what I needed in order to calm these insecurities, we simply called it too overwhelming. Too much angst. And gave up.
But as we reflect together, there might be a number of ways forward.
I have learned over the years I like to meet the people my wife is having sexual relationships with and this is true for relationships with more of a connection too. Meeting them though can be as simple as meeting one of my wife’s girlfriends. A handshake, a hello, a brief conversation and that is it. It puts a face to a name. I like to meet people my wife spends time with because I love her and I like to have that face to a name in person.
Of course I’d love a naughty MFM threesome or to watch my wife get fucked. That gets me off. That is not a requirement because I always respect the guy’s own sexual comfort level. I also need to do a better job to respect where he is at on an emotional level – and my wife and I both need to do a better job of understanding and working to accommodate his needs and desires.
I also have not been fully sexually monogamous myself – possibly a sign I should explore more variety myself. I have had sex with another man on my own without my wife knowing prior, and have had conversations with other men online, as I show them images of myself dressed in female clothes. I have also had sex with other women swinging. Honestly though sexually from a woman I get everything I desire and want from my wife. Aside from sex I have had many great friendships with other woman.
It is interesting to consider having an ongoing sexual relationship with another guy, fulfilling that part of my own sexual satisfaction I can’t get at home. My wife said she thinks a friend of ours wants to fuck me, and is just waiting for someone to tell him too. It feels exciting thinking about that. It is not something I am actively seeking myself right now and is best for another post. It would not be something that would ever cause me to leave my wife, or stop having sex and making love with my wife the many ways we already do. It would just be an addition to an already great loving relationship. The same as her and the guys she sees. A true increase in variety.