Cock Cravings

Cock Cravings

It was my wife’s fantasy to watch me suck a cock. On a drunk night out I admitted to her I had sucked cock in the past before her and I were dating. I love fantasies and like the first time I had ever done it I was hesitant and timid but willing.

My cock sucking experience years ago was amazing but then I never did it again for over a decade. Although I loved the feeling of cock in my mouth I did not like the feelings I had in my head. I was a straight young man who liked to suck cock. Over a year, I would get cravings for it again, fulfill them and leave feeling ashamed of myself.  

I experimented even more once having that same guy fuck me, but I just couldn’t mentally enjoy it at that point in my life. The cock sucking and submitting to him was a roller coaster of enjoying the act and hating living a secret life.  I also still was attracted to women and wanting to meet the lady of my dreams.

Then came love and marriage to the most beautiful woman in the world. I fell in love with her instantly. I can picture the very first time I saw her. I can sit and stare at her eyes, face and body for eternity and die a happy man. Proof after all how straight I am.

Then came cuckolding.

The desire for your wife to sleep with other men and getting off on it. I still can’t understand it, yet I have accepted it and so much enjoy it.  I love the sexual satisfaction my wife gets, I love seeing her in the act and I love having her afterword. I also like the mental struggles I sometimes have with it.

Maybe I’m just attracted to sex outside the borders of social acceptance?

I’ve always had an attraction to sex. You probably have too. It is human. I believe like food, sex is a human need.

After my early experimentation sucking and fucking a cock, I have always been a little confused because I have never felt attracted to a male, not the same way I am to women, to my wife.  

Is sucking cock gay? There probably is a huge grey line in-between. If two girls are going down on each other most men think it is hot! They are not lesbians, they are just playing around or bi.  It is unfortunate society doesn’t so easily see the same with two guys.

My wife, oh my wife! Had me suck her bulls cock and more than once!

Now I just can’t get it out of my head. I love sucking cock and I love fucking her.  I find myself now in a three fold fantasy – my love and sex with my wife – her cuckolding me – and me sucking cock. I want all three.

We keep in touch with one of the men my wife has had sex with. Share photos and small one liner chats. Day 1 meeting him I was always attracted to his dominance. Once I saw him in action I admired his cock and how he uses it. When my wife isn’t in the mood to play I have been finding myself thinking, it’s too bad he doesn’t just invite me over to suck his cock…. I know such a bad thought.

That is not what he is into either.

Why do I always have to define sexually who I am?

If you haven’t sucked cock it is an amazing feeling. The cock is actually hot to the touch, the feeling of it going in and out of your mouth is incredible. The feeling of it getting harder and harder because of you rewarding. You can easily get loss in your submission to it, licking the balls, rubbing it on your face. Similar to licking pussy if you are a good pussy licker you just want to please, at the moment you don’t care at all about your own pleasure, or it is just you are getting so much pleasure from it.  I guess this is what too makes me submissive or other terminology a bottom. There I go again.

Like cuckolding afterwards I feel a little dirty and pathetic. Then later on I want more.  I crave it. Unlike cuckolding I always craved my wife to be with other men, not myself being with other men nor did I crave or desire to be with other women.

I wonder if I fulfilled my wife’s fantasy. Does she think it is hot watching another guy suck cock? Like men feel about women licking each other? I suppose it does turn her on. I will have to ask her. How about a guy fucking another guy?  How far can you take a bisexual cuckold marriage?  

Lately now when I have been thinking about cuckolding I am more excited to eat cum out of her pussy. It is because I want the pleasure of licking out the cum, encouraging her and giving her more pleasure, not because I want to be humiliated for being a cuckold. I also continue to look forward to the next time she gives me the opportunity to share cock with her.

Sometimes I feel I have gone too far sexually. Can’t I just be happy in a monogamous relationship with my wife? I believe I can but at the same time I love that we are both into trying things out and sexually exploring and enjoying who we sexually are, including us inviting others into our sex life.

I read a cuckold story that I though was hot.  “He’s submissive. She’s submissive. They’ve welcome a dominant men into their marriage. They’ve invited them into their lives and in particular into their bedroom. They’ve given themselves to these men sexually in the pursuit of that which together satisfies them more than anything.

This is a rare combination in the world of cuckold marriages, but it’s not unheard of. When it happens, the results are beautiful”  

It is beautiful, fun, exciting and thrilling. It’s just who I am.